Allways just 2 b me!!!!!

Well Christmas came and went,and felt nothing like Christmas to me. Everyone eventually got to my uncle Alex's house for the holiday. naturally running late. The good part though was that I saw many cousins that I don't get to see most of the year, even though we live in the same city.  Which will actually carry into the New Years celebration. Christmas was spent with mostly my Mom's side of the Family, and New years will be with mostly my Dad's side.  






I've been told that not only are my Uncle and Aunt coming in from VA, but that their oldest daughter is coming with her husband also. I haven't seen that cousin since she graduated from high School three years behind me. In fact, She's been married for quite some time and I haven't even meet the guy. That should be fun. 


I have noticed that I have let something slip this year though, and it seems to have affected me greatly. It's scary how such a small thing can have such a large affect on life, but it does. 
For a while I've kept a gratitude journal but haven't written in it since June. I'm not to sure why, but as I said I have noticed the difference in my thought process and attitude. So I need to start it up again. For a while I've kept a gratitude journal but haven't written in it since June. I'm not to sure why, but as I said I have noticed the difference in my thought process and attitude. So I need to start it up again. 
My Parents are headed to Dallas again to pick up Monica's totaled JEEP, and look at a few cars with her. She's gotten some money to buy a new one instead of getting one of the cars from here. She's bummed that her beloved JEEP she got for Graduation is gone, but glad no one was hurt.  We all feel the same here. 


So Gratitude.................
1. Got to see all the young ones I don't get to see regularly. 
2. Going to go see a close friend I didn't get to see this year.
3. Have a job interview Tomorrow.
4. Got some good presents this year. many some things I've been looking for but not quite finding. 
5. I've realized how important it is to keep this going in order to keep an objective head. 


If you want to join in go a head. You only need five. In most cases though one can work just fine. I wouldn't mind see what others are grateful for especially since the news is full of to many stories of otherwise. 
I really can't wait for 2012 and see what is next. 

My cousin Theresa is ready for her  little boy to come in a week or so.

See the polka dot shirt? She was a baby when I was in HS. and the blue shirt was as big as Juliet last year.

Waiting for presents to be passed out.

Those teen in the middle are  also making me pause at age. They were born when I was in HS too.

I received my results for the CPC test today and I just missed the test by 5%.  I'm bummed that I didn't pass, but I'm also somewhat proud of myself. I went into the test sick, I had a drink accidentally thrown at me when the other person went to pick it up but knocked it over, and I was puzzled over a few of the questions. Yet I only missed it by 5%, as a result I do feel accomplished.  I'm now going to put my attention to finding a job, and getting some more experience behind me before I retake the test. My weak point once again was the Guidelines and practice management, that will be what I need to look at some more before I try again. It would have been Awesome if I was able to pass the first time and receive a refund. That just wasn't in the cards this time around unfortunately, but as I said, I wont let that upset me too much. I was very close.

This week will be my last week at my externship, as I only have 33 hrs left. Will be sad to not go there any more. Michelle and Maryland are good people, I enjoyed working with them, and will defiantly miss them.
So now it's time to focus on the next step entirely. Please wish me lots of luck?? Update Soon I promise.

I've gone and worn myself out enough that I got sick.  I tried to adjust myself to going to bed early and getting up early over the past three or four weeks and it hasn't worked.  I seem to naturally be a night owl.  Going to bed at 11pm and getting up at 7 am is a naturalish fit.  Going to bed at 8:30 or 9pm and getting up at 5am not at all.  I've only managed to do it about 4 days.  The rest of the time I'm to tiered in the morning my body just is not wanting to get up at all until around 7 or 7:30 am.  Well Except for this week where I got sick and just wanted to sleep and eat for three days strait.  I had a bit of reprieve on Thursday, but that seems it was so my illness could migrate from the tummy to the sinuses.  So now both My Dad and I are sick and coughing up lungs every where.  


Heck, I wasn't even the only sick person at my CPC test yesterday!!  That made me feel less bad about going while sick, However, I still got a bit of a loop from it.  I had heard that it was hard so I did all that I could to review but not worry about it. Even while taking the test.  150 questions and 5hrs and 40 mins to do them.  It was quite brutal I have to say.  Now I'm just waiting for my results, 5-7 days until I get my results from AAPC.  I'm pushing my thoughts and energy to have passed.  I can see now why certain areas want for you to have 2yrs of experience.  Perhaps I should try out for Express scripts once I finish with my Extership with the school.  I'll have to check in with A. in a bit to see how she feels about them and re-pickup my typing.  I've let that one slide a bit while I was focusing on the things that I have.  Now that the CPC has passed, I will focus on finishing my Externship and the Job hunt.  Then we will see where things go from there.  Since I focused on it a lot while taking it, and I do feel that I did a mostly good job till the last 20 min so I wont worry about it until the results come.  


This time of year is always crazy it seems though.  It seems that all the Apocalyptic changes in life that people have seem to happen in October, November and December.  Many things have happened to friends and family members even just this week, and I know that we are all ready for it to settle down.  I just hope that it makes everyone Stronger, and not throw them into the pit of Displeasure.  That is not an easy pit to escape.  Even I still slip down the slope I've been climbing for about a year and a half now.  Change happens for a reason, and there is a whole philosophic observation I have about it.  Both from watching and going through it, but I'll have to take the time to write about it on another post.  Well, I'm going back to sleep now in an attempt to feel better tomorrow. Everyone have a good rest of the weekend. 

Well It's been a little over a month since I finished school, and it's about 3 weeks when I take the CPC exam. I'm a bit nervous about that one. I missed my practice test by one. Even though I haven't made it to some of the things that I wanted to, I have been reviewing and letting my mind settle. I'll defiantly review more as I get closer so that I don't freak out as badly. I have started an Externship this week from the school which has helped me a bit. I will get back into the mind of working (boy have I been working) and hopefully earn myself a good reference at the end. It has been good to be moving and doing things, but I will have to start getting up at 5am so that I can go to the gym before going over to RCA for the externship. 
Last week I only managed to do it for 2 days. Adjusting from a late bed time to an early bed time has never been easy for me as I seem to be a natural night owl. 
I have been applying for jobs, but not heard anything back. I've been trying not to let me down because I know that I always land right where I'm supposed to be. It's just hard to do when all I want is for everything to happen like a movie montage where it goes by and the rewards are there to be had. I don't fear the Labor, never have, but at times it just seems hard to get myself fully motivated. I can't decide if it is the time of year or that I just never really took the time to fully recover from my last breakdown.  
It wasn't a breakdown in the 'nervous breakdown' sense, but I died and became an empty shell none the less. Slowly coming back into myself has been a longer journey then I had hoped it would be. Hopefully this time next year I will be not only in a different place, but in a better state of mind. I know that I'm already better from where I was this time last year. Leaps and bounds better, but still no where near where I would prefer to be.  I suppose life is nothing but a full work in progress :) . Progress is something I have done, just not instantly, and hopefully it will all work well in the end.  
I will try to post regularly now. Even if nothing of major note happens. I've neglected the updates for to long, and if I log them more regularly. Perhaps I can tamper some of the frustration and do better with gratitude.

A person that I follow because he has been a good source for inspiration over the years tweeted a quote that jarred me.

"You must travel often to the house of friends.....for weeds grow quickly upon unused paths"--Anon

Yeah, as of oh, say about 2005 completely, but actually most of my life. I've had a bad habit of letting a good deal of time go in between seeing friends.  I'm not sure why I let life drain me to where all I want to do is try and rest at home, It never works.  What I need to do is just start going out and doing things, and invite friends along. Lately I keep letting the fact that I have little to no money make me stay at home where I just get more frustrated.  I haven't had the greatest models when it comes to money, and when I do have it, it burns a hole in my pocket like no tomorrow. I've been working on trying to remedy the issue but it hasn't worked out the best right now. I have so many friends that I haven't talked to for way to long, but This quote is right!  I need to go and see which paths can be weeded and which ones can't.

So I should just start with my new plan and find things to do that are not very much or nothing at all. I have a bike that I haven't used in 3 yrs. Some skates that I haven't taken to the rink in a little over a year, and lots of places that I can go and hike.  I have been working on two of many things that I need to work on in order to get where I belong, but that hasn't been enough.  In fact, I'm now realizing that some of the issues I've been having with one is the result of only focusing on two things. I really need to just do the other things I keep putting off, but for some reason can not find the motivation.

In order to be prepped to go into the little house that I want to live in I will need to go through my stuff and par it down to what can fit into the 130SF. I have boxes in the corner of My room that I haven't looked at since I put them there 6yrs ago.  That's bad, really bad. I think that a major part of it is that I have so much stuff and no where to put it to go through it. I will always start then have it all thrown back into my room by the others wanting to clean the house.  Which does clean the house back to it's original clutter, but still doesn't help me.  I have 10 more days of school left. I think that then I will start to go through the room after I get a bit of things in order. A hair cut, manicure, and some new makeup are in order so that I can be ready for Interviews. I will be studying for the CPC Exam. Going to try and register for the Dec. 3rd test in the next couple of weeks. 

I still have to sign up for the AAPC as well.

Well I moved a bit away from the quote, but I think that it all ties in.
Please wish me lots of luck.

Mal.

Wow, It's Labor day weekend already??? That means that I have 4 more weeks of school left. That's one more week of this class and the next class. This one has been just as crazy as the past ones though. It hasn't killed my head with the amount and toughness of the work, but just with the plain toughness. We learned E/M coding in this class, and it felt like I was learning the Science Fiction equations to make a wormhole from home to china.  


It's gotten a bit easier though. So hopefully I got it enough to keep my GPA. I haven't done to much since the Ball at the beginning of July. Just school, which I was learning the Anatomy and Coding. I did happen to house sit a couple of times for some friends and family, and attempted to go to Las Vegas to go see a friend for a couple of days. Unfortunately the last one wasn't able to happen. 


I'm not to bummed about it though because of our busy schedule's. We can meet up another time and have fun. I'm excited to finish school in October,Although I do have to go in to Jury duty the next day. It's been crazy how fast the time has gone with what I'm doing, but soon it should all be worth it. I look forward to having a career this time instead of just a job. This path is sounding like it will work well with my need to keep learning and not get mundane for very long. It's a very exciting to have so many different areas to look at for coding. I just have to pay a few more dues of my first two years of experience, and then I can have a good time by still needing to learn the next area.  


I have taken jobs at places before that had looked as if they could offer the same thing, but unfortunately didn't. So the fact that one than more person in the field has told me that it is a real possibility in the billing and coding world has me very excited.  This is a very short update I know, but I promise to make a much bigger one when school is over.  

My costume on Friday,with the joker.

Well, it has taken me a bit to get to the blogging part of my trip last weekend, but unfortunetly since May it's been go, go, go. School has taken up the main majority of my time. The classes are getting herder and harder. I can now see why Doctors and Nurses take a few years to learn Anatomy. The small amount I'm being exposed to is mind blowing. I'm sure I've said it many times to many people, but let's get back to the main reason of the post shall we.

Everyone who has known me well as of late knows that The Labyrinth of Jareth Ball has taken a large part of my  interest over the past four years. The prospect of missing it this year really upset me. So I was very grateful to be able to at the Ball this year. It was much bigger and more amazing this year, And as usual I spent the whole time moving from space to space snapping pictures and seeing different things, I took some video. and will put it on the bottom of the post. Sadly though, because I dropped my camera on the concrete floor at the Con the weekend before it has a bit of trouble with the focus and blurs at times. Shawn Strider and his crew manage to always out do the previous year, and make it look easily done.

The biggest and most appreciated change this year was the food court that was added to the back. There was A Crape van and a BBQ van. I hope that next year there will be an additional two. One I would suggest if ever asked would be the Veg-it-up van. Then I would be in absolute haven while hopping from truck line to truck line. I may be a meat girl but the veggie patties that Veg-it-up makes taste like the real thing, and the mint julep lemonade is the best thing ever.

Hopefully this next year!!!

Also I think this trip just ended up adding to the self-revelations I have been receiving since ACE 2011, because this year for some reason, L.A. was not a scary place. I went on my own this time and drove all over the metro area from Downtown where I was staying to Hollywood, to Culver City, to Long beach, and back up to universal Studios. Heck, I even drove on the Freeways!! Something I wont do here in Albuquerque unless I really really need to, or headed out of town.  It was a very energizing trip, and one that I have been needing. I can't wait for next year, when Velvet rejoins the adventure. Hopefully by then I will have gained the courage to do this when we go to Universal Studios.

Well how about we get to some pictures and the video now?

Waiting in line.

My costume on Saturday, with Micheal.

A different ballroom from last year.

hmmmmmmmmmm.

I just had to get one of her with my umbrella.

Oh and The video...Almost forgot. But remeber some of it is going to lose focus.....Sorry.

I know that it was last weekend that I went to the LOJ ball. I came back on Sunday but have not had time to post. I still have some video to put together and upload to YouTube.  After I get that done I will write my big post with pics and the Vid. a whole 6 days later.  Bad on my end of things I know, but School is still taking a major amount of my time. probably will all the way to the end in October.

Post for sure tomoorow.

Well, today is the last day for the Albuquerque Comic Expo. I went for five hours on Friday and had a blast with Velvet. Then yesterday I went for a full twelve hours and it turned out to be a good day, even with the up and downs, the losing of things, dropping my camera, and ending up Solo at the event. I prefer to share the fun of these kinds of things but several things happened and I still found lots of ways to keep it all in good fun.  On the side here is a photo of me and the tenth doctor. and to the other side a head shot I took while waiting for the Star Trek Panel with Marina Sirtis and Levar Burton. That was a fun panel, just as much fun as the Nickolas Brendon one was. In fact the snoopy dance he did at the end was the best.  All three had great fun and banter with the audience the entire time.

I also saw half of the Robotech panel. I came in after Nickolas's panel and they were showing the new projects and showed CGI which looked like 2d drawing. Best thing ever!!!

The best part of the evening was the end. I went to the REPO!! the Genetic Opera shadow-cast. It rock in all ways possible. I have not been to a shadow cast since high school, and it was just as I remembered. well except this hunky dude in this movie is Terrance Zdunich and not Tim Curry. Also he wears no heels, he just sells blue goo from dead people's noses.  While waiting for the shadow cast to set up and sell their participant bags, I got to hear the stories of a couple of guys that moved here from New York City and were in the goth scene there in the 90's It was cool to hear of all the places and sad that most of them are now boutique stores or pulled down for condo's I had great fun and some interesting self revelations.

Next weekend I go to Los Angeles for the LOJ ball, and will have pics of that too. Can't wait to see what happens next weekend when I go home to Sypher. For now how about some others pics.

Here is my friend Velvet in her alternate persona.(Majora's mask/ Skull Kid)

Spiderman/Pan he was a cool dude. Very friendly and had the screwdriver I needed back at the booth he worked. In fact all the guys at the DC Entertainment booth were the coolest.

V.V. and some of the DewBack Ridge 501st guys

The skirt Harley. I want to do the Pant suit Harley from this video game soon.

part of the Shadow cast for REPO!!!!

Mothra

The fourth Dr. and Sarah Jane.

Some bats of some kind.

Grell from black butler.

Another pan

So I'm going to get a half of a vacation right before I go to California for the ball. YAY!!!! My sister has decided to move to Texas with her guy. So during the last week of June everyone who does not have school is pitching in to help with the move here. Well I have school, so it will be me and the animals for a week or so. I will get to try and get ahead a bit in the next class before I leave. If the homework that I had over the past two weekends is any indication of how it will be for the next three classes. I wont be able to do two chapters (18 hrs.) of homework that weekend. Wont want to either. 


I wasn't quite sure what I had signed up for, but if I can get through this; I will know that I have regained a bit of my old self.  Pre Sandia Casino Malibu was a strong chick in my opinion, there was lots of things I did and accomplished by the seat of my pants. Never worried about how it would turn out, just did what was necessary and moved it all forward as best as I could. I really want to get back to that point. It's just taking much longer than I would like or want. 


However, I do feel that getting through this stage in school is a step closer to that. Wish me luck please? 


P.S. On the 25th of this month I will be going to the ABQ Comic Expo down at the Convention center. I promise to take lots of pics and to blog.

So I've been making myself feel better by accepting and saying that it's time to go with the flow of what is happening in my life, as well as setting some goals.  So if I've been doing that, why can't I let go of the fear and just fully dive in? I've gone over it, analyzed it, accepted it, and have been dominating it. I mean come on 4.0 GPA, but I still have issues when I'm not on that track. I really need to find a place to go to after I get home from the gym to do homework.  It's been hard to get it done how I want to within this house, and I have no idea why. In fact I'm barley going to start this weekends homework in about an hour. 


Every time I feel that I'm ready and that I'm going to let go of this bank I'm clinging to in this river, it just doesn't happen. I keep getting snagged, and the fear, shame and uneasiness set in again. Crazy thing is that I know that it isn't mine, not my families, and Yet it comes from somewhere. Wish that I could pinpoint where these feelings are coming from. I'm so tired of fighting and pushing against these feelings. I don't know how the got such a strong hold on me, but figuring out how to stop them from seeping back in has been a really hard thing.


I need to stop hurting myself and stick to my promises and word on all these decisions. More than one person has told me that a person goes through uneasiness and reinvents a part of themselves every 10 years or so.  As a result I don't feel bad about school and going for a new career, but the time it takes and the swirl around it can send my into one crazy tail spin.  I have an Idea to try to see if I can stop from exhausting myself just from stress. that way I can be the person I need to be. After all If I want to be able to take care of others I need to be in the proper mind set and Health, Right??

Well as you know I have been going through a lot of frustration, bad moods, and realizations.  I'm still on that slow path to getting a new career and a job that I will like, but still took some time out to decide what my next goals will be. My cuosin Micheal made fun of me for saying that I will have these things done in the next 6 years, but hey building a house will take some time.  I'm not going to build a standard house Oh No!!  I found a house that is calling to me and my small Gypsy side it's called the Fencl, and I plan to follow many others who have built and modified it by hand. I do plan some modifications to the roof for more storage space and probably a couple of other things. I will save money from my first three checks to buy the plans at the beginning of next year. Then start looking at what else I will need to get started. This type of thing has intrigued me since my uncle moved to Oregon in 2000. He and my aunt were there for about 10 years. After a few months in an apartment they decided for some random reason to buy a large travel trailer and lived in it while they were up there. My aunt said she was worried at first but after a bit she really liked it. Especially when they decided to drive somewhere because they just took everything with them, not having to worry about who will watch it. This has always appealed to me, but I wasn't sure that I wanted a Fifth Wheel. after looking and muling it over for about 5 months I decided that this would be good. With the Fencl it can be self sufficient, and I wouldn't have to worry if I bought land with utilities or not. The prospect of Simplifying down and having a small cleaning space is a real plus. Also with building it I wont have to take out a major loan to have it. Just get it as I allocate the proper money. This decision has me very excited. The prospect of Simplifying down and having a small cleaning space is a real plus.


Now the debate is to decide if I really truly want a scooter or not. I've always wanted a bike, but haven't learned how to ride or fully gotten one due to fear. If I get a scooter I can learn on the road, and have a bit more gas efficiency. Not to mention that when I finish the house it can go right in the living room while I drive somewhere or overnight. I'm looking at the Vespa , and the Stella. This isn't the first time I've looked at scooters either. It seems to be a favorite past time every time Gas is over $3.25 a gallon. I've realized that there is a lot that I do, but there is also quite a bit more that I stare at longingly because of fear. Whether it's my own or my family's. It's time to just let that fear go, really it is. I'm really excited about these and hopefully soon I'll have the full decision of the scooter too. 


So what do ya guys think?

Well, This is it. I've hit the home stretch and man is it going to be one hell of a run. Yesterday was day 2 of the first anatomy class. At this point in time the Two I can pull off the top of my head are Aden/o is gland, and Hematoma means a mass of blood. there are lots of others but I would need a paper in front of me.  


Today we should be headed for the digestive systems. I still need to glue my flash cards together. The new teacher seems pretty good. We are all still adjusting to each other and happy to have her after the Computer Literacy fiasco. 


I know that this is short and sweet, but I thought I would just do a small update since I haven't written for a bit. I'm still waiting for the dresses I bought to come from the UK.  So I have no pictures to show just yet.  promise to post them on my pages when they get here. 
until than everyone stay safe. 

This may just be a repeat. Well Summer time is now just around the bend.  Although with the cold and wind we had move in you wouldn't know it.  I'm excited for the summer to come I got the OK and have set up to go to the Ball and can't wait to go. I'm a bit scared to be going by myself for the first time, but really do not want to miss it.  Three days is not how long I like to be there but it will work all the same. I just set up for a Compact car instead of using Public transportation. That will be nice because I can hit the couple of stores I would have missed otherwise. 
I have my costumes all set except for the mask and will need to find a good lace for that.  I'm a bit sad that it is the only trip that I will be taking this year, but look forward to the future I'm building towards. Which will include other and further trips.

I get frustrated at times because I get caught up in instant gratification and feel that things are not progressing fast enough.  I have forgotten how it is to have patience, another thing to work on while I'm in school. When we were young it seemed that one had all the time in the world in which to do anything. Now as adults we constantly look at our clocks and grumble about not enough hours in the day.  Jealousy has had a part in it too. Several of my friends have gone or will be going to the far east. A place I have wanted to go to since High School, and I'm determined to make it there.

well I guess this will be my short jolt of info. It's all probably nothig that I have said before, but for right now it's my update.  I should have more soon .

Last time I wrote it was while I had all these crazy thoughts and realizations running through my head at way too fast a rate.  Since then I have worked to slow everything down  not only around me but in my head as well.  It bothers me a bit that it took that visit for me to realize that I was still hanging on to a great deal of the Negativity and Issues I had from my old job.  I had thought that I had left them at the door the night I walked out for the last time, and that everything I was going through were just another set of crazy problems from the universe.
In a way I think it was that the world is trying to break me of the Habits that I picked up from that place.  I realized that I still worry about things that I shouldn't and make a Mountain out of a Molehill.  The universe has shone me this by taking the issue I've been worring about and adding a whole new twist to it.  Seriously there have been three things that the issue shouldn't have mattered, but it did and then the twist came and blew me around the loop several times.  As a result I have learned that I need to readjust my radar for worry.  I really only have three places that are my major world right now.  School, Gym and Home.  School and Gym are good places, both are helping my to build a better future.(Sadly not through instant gratification, but hey if it's not going to crumble it needs a good foundation right?)  home is an interesting front though, I know that my parents probably don't mean to make me feel the way they do. They just want to help or push or whatever else. Unfortunatly, most of the time it just causes to much friction and frustration. 
However now that I have slowed down, instead of trying to keep my head above the water, I hope to truely fix myself right up.
So no more focusing of the SHOULD, COULD, WOULD, CAN'T, or any other depresive states of mind.  NO, no more.

I've decided to write this to put some crazy thoughts running through my head a voice.  On Friday I went to see a friend that I used to work with at the job I quit 10 minths ago.  The time both made me feel good and bad.  Good becasue I got to see a friend I had not seen since last Fall, and bad becasue of what I heard and saw.  My friend doesn't look like the person I saw last. She is tired and hurting; many of the things that she told me that are going on at my old job are old hat.  After all they are the same things I saw and went through for 4 years, but the bad thing is that the main majority of it is not good, and after a while it begins to affect your happiness and health. My friend is a strong person and I respect her very much, so it makes me sad to see her in the spot I was in when I decided it was time to quit.

It boggles my mind how an area can go through so many people, and not see why their issues are always the same.  I'm not sure what the reasons are that are used to explain a high turn over for a job that is in itself quite easy. It's the Drama and negative energy that is cultivated every day that makes the job the worst job I've ever had. EVER.  I considered myself a strong person. I even spent 4 years at the job.  Two of the years telling myself that if I just held out a bit longer things had to get better.  Of course they never did, in fact I got targeted and it was one year ago that I decided it was time to get out, do to the way a meeting made me feel.  Today one year later the treatment I recived still bothers me.  I'm not as confident or trusting as I was before this job.  The negativity and criticisim broke me.

I've been trying to rebuild myself. Including by going back to school and startign a career in the medical industry. So that I can have the things I needed from the bad job, but never got no matter how much I voiced the need for it. I'm putting some of the energy I have left into hoping my friend comes out on top and doing fine.  That when she leaves or when any of the others there finally leave they can bounce back faster than me.  After all I'm still working on bouncing back.  

I have a blog post that I had put up not to long ago in another place.  I've decided that perhaps I should put it down here too.  That way I have the reinforcement in more than one place to keep going. Even through all the dissappointment.  Here it is.

Life is a funny thing. Posted On: 01/24/2011 15:08:21

This weekend has been a good one for sure. On Friday I bought my Grand Package ticket for the ball on July 1st and 2nd .  Then just a few hours later my mom asked me how much it would be for the Flight and the Hotel the greatest early birthday present ever. Unfortunately I wont be able to make a new mask or costume for the Ball, but I do have a couple of costumes to take.  I'm thinking that if I get a bit of good lace I can make at least some eyelet masks to go with the costumes. 


Then I have had several other good things happen. I'm really happy right now, which I'm grateful for. For a while I just couldn't shake that pesky run down and depressed feeling. Seems that a couple of disappointments that worked themselves out this weekend were affecting me more than I thought. Now I just need to finish getting through school and the summer with hopefully a lot less drama. I'm looking at the time line and I'm sure it will take me a bit long than I would like to get established after school, but this time around will be worth it. 


On a side note of D'oh dum.  I was cutting up a bunch of old and no longer used Credit cards last weekend while cleaning in my room and through old files. May have accidentally cut up my current credit card, as I can't seem to find it anywhere.  I was sure I had put it in a certain file, but it's not there when I looked for it to update something. Hopefully I wont actually need it for a bit before I can call my bank and get a new one.  I guess That's what I get for thinking I was being smart and putting out of my wallet so that I wouldn't use it. heh heh heh.

My mind keeps going over the same argument for the past 5 months.  I quit my toxic job 9 months ago.  I was happy and looking at options of what I could do after my trip. Then some crazy things with my Dad happened and I was the one who mainly stayed with him for 4 months. During those 4 months I signed up for schooling at Carrington College for Medical billing and Coding, and continued to look for a part time job.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to find a place that wanted to work around my schedule and I have been working at school. I'm very excited about it still because I have been keeping a 4.0 GPA.  Something I wasn't interested in doing during High School and my first round at College.  I still have a very good feeling about the path I'm going down, It's just a bit frustrating that it is taking time. Everything takes time I'm aware, but with TSA deciding that my Psoriasis is not acceptable, other places not wanting to go around the schedule, and school beginning to get a bit hard. I still find my self with a lot of Frustration.  My graduation got pushed to Oct 1st because of a storm that closed the school for 3 days, and when we get to the anatomy section towards the end of my schooling I will have to get to know a new teacher.  All at times for some weird reason, my mind will decide it is daunting. 

I know it's just my mind running with all the different expectations of others, but I wish I knew how to completely turn it off so that I could continue to concentrate on what is important right now. SCHOOL.   This will help me to get into a diverse and challenging career that I look forward to.  So please wish me luck, and I'll let you know how it all goes.

I love when spring begins to show itself. I'm not to big of a fan of the colds, flus and allergies that come with it though. The thing I love the most about this time of year though is that you get the energy to make some changes and clear the clutter that has collected over the winter or years.  It amazes me how much of a pack-rat I am. I started my spring cleaning today. Which includes moving the bed and vacuuming up all the cobwebs. Found that I have quite the colony of Daddy long legs in my room. LOVE IT, that means that so long as I haven't caught to many of the little ones I didn't see running then I shouldn't have to worry about roaches this year.  I saw maybe a total of 7 while getting the network of old and dusty webs.  I'm finishing with the bed changes as well. Another round of get some clutter out and I'm all done. I still have my corner that I get into little by little but hopefully this will be the year that I truly get through all of my stuff and really strip down to necessities. I was hoping to get it done at the end of last year. Unfortunately it didn't work out, do to several things. So now I'm heading into it and we shall see how things go. Wish me luck.