Allways just 2 b me!!!!!

Well Christmas came and went,and felt nothing like Christmas to me. Everyone eventually got to my uncle Alex's house for the holiday. naturally running late. The good part though was that I saw many cousins that I don't get to see most of the year, even though we live in the same city.  Which will actually carry into the New Years celebration. Christmas was spent with mostly my Mom's side of the Family, and New years will be with mostly my Dad's side.  






I've been told that not only are my Uncle and Aunt coming in from VA, but that their oldest daughter is coming with her husband also. I haven't seen that cousin since she graduated from high School three years behind me. In fact, She's been married for quite some time and I haven't even meet the guy. That should be fun. 


I have noticed that I have let something slip this year though, and it seems to have affected me greatly. It's scary how such a small thing can have such a large affect on life, but it does. 
For a while I've kept a gratitude journal but haven't written in it since June. I'm not to sure why, but as I said I have noticed the difference in my thought process and attitude. So I need to start it up again. For a while I've kept a gratitude journal but haven't written in it since June. I'm not to sure why, but as I said I have noticed the difference in my thought process and attitude. So I need to start it up again. 
My Parents are headed to Dallas again to pick up Monica's totaled JEEP, and look at a few cars with her. She's gotten some money to buy a new one instead of getting one of the cars from here. She's bummed that her beloved JEEP she got for Graduation is gone, but glad no one was hurt.  We all feel the same here. 


So Gratitude.................
1. Got to see all the young ones I don't get to see regularly. 
2. Going to go see a close friend I didn't get to see this year.
3. Have a job interview Tomorrow.
4. Got some good presents this year. many some things I've been looking for but not quite finding. 
5. I've realized how important it is to keep this going in order to keep an objective head. 


If you want to join in go a head. You only need five. In most cases though one can work just fine. I wouldn't mind see what others are grateful for especially since the news is full of to many stories of otherwise. 
I really can't wait for 2012 and see what is next. 

My cousin Theresa is ready for her  little boy to come in a week or so.

See the polka dot shirt? She was a baby when I was in HS. and the blue shirt was as big as Juliet last year.

Waiting for presents to be passed out.

Those teen in the middle are  also making me pause at age. They were born when I was in HS too.

I received my results for the CPC test today and I just missed the test by 5%.  I'm bummed that I didn't pass, but I'm also somewhat proud of myself. I went into the test sick, I had a drink accidentally thrown at me when the other person went to pick it up but knocked it over, and I was puzzled over a few of the questions. Yet I only missed it by 5%, as a result I do feel accomplished.  I'm now going to put my attention to finding a job, and getting some more experience behind me before I retake the test. My weak point once again was the Guidelines and practice management, that will be what I need to look at some more before I try again. It would have been Awesome if I was able to pass the first time and receive a refund. That just wasn't in the cards this time around unfortunately, but as I said, I wont let that upset me too much. I was very close.

This week will be my last week at my externship, as I only have 33 hrs left. Will be sad to not go there any more. Michelle and Maryland are good people, I enjoyed working with them, and will defiantly miss them.
So now it's time to focus on the next step entirely. Please wish me lots of luck?? Update Soon I promise.

I've gone and worn myself out enough that I got sick.  I tried to adjust myself to going to bed early and getting up early over the past three or four weeks and it hasn't worked.  I seem to naturally be a night owl.  Going to bed at 11pm and getting up at 7 am is a naturalish fit.  Going to bed at 8:30 or 9pm and getting up at 5am not at all.  I've only managed to do it about 4 days.  The rest of the time I'm to tiered in the morning my body just is not wanting to get up at all until around 7 or 7:30 am.  Well Except for this week where I got sick and just wanted to sleep and eat for three days strait.  I had a bit of reprieve on Thursday, but that seems it was so my illness could migrate from the tummy to the sinuses.  So now both My Dad and I are sick and coughing up lungs every where.  


Heck, I wasn't even the only sick person at my CPC test yesterday!!  That made me feel less bad about going while sick, However, I still got a bit of a loop from it.  I had heard that it was hard so I did all that I could to review but not worry about it. Even while taking the test.  150 questions and 5hrs and 40 mins to do them.  It was quite brutal I have to say.  Now I'm just waiting for my results, 5-7 days until I get my results from AAPC.  I'm pushing my thoughts and energy to have passed.  I can see now why certain areas want for you to have 2yrs of experience.  Perhaps I should try out for Express scripts once I finish with my Extership with the school.  I'll have to check in with A. in a bit to see how she feels about them and re-pickup my typing.  I've let that one slide a bit while I was focusing on the things that I have.  Now that the CPC has passed, I will focus on finishing my Externship and the Job hunt.  Then we will see where things go from there.  Since I focused on it a lot while taking it, and I do feel that I did a mostly good job till the last 20 min so I wont worry about it until the results come.  


This time of year is always crazy it seems though.  It seems that all the Apocalyptic changes in life that people have seem to happen in October, November and December.  Many things have happened to friends and family members even just this week, and I know that we are all ready for it to settle down.  I just hope that it makes everyone Stronger, and not throw them into the pit of Displeasure.  That is not an easy pit to escape.  Even I still slip down the slope I've been climbing for about a year and a half now.  Change happens for a reason, and there is a whole philosophic observation I have about it.  Both from watching and going through it, but I'll have to take the time to write about it on another post.  Well, I'm going back to sleep now in an attempt to feel better tomorrow. Everyone have a good rest of the weekend. 

Well It's been a little over a month since I finished school, and it's about 3 weeks when I take the CPC exam. I'm a bit nervous about that one. I missed my practice test by one. Even though I haven't made it to some of the things that I wanted to, I have been reviewing and letting my mind settle. I'll defiantly review more as I get closer so that I don't freak out as badly. I have started an Externship this week from the school which has helped me a bit. I will get back into the mind of working (boy have I been working) and hopefully earn myself a good reference at the end. It has been good to be moving and doing things, but I will have to start getting up at 5am so that I can go to the gym before going over to RCA for the externship. 
Last week I only managed to do it for 2 days. Adjusting from a late bed time to an early bed time has never been easy for me as I seem to be a natural night owl. 
I have been applying for jobs, but not heard anything back. I've been trying not to let me down because I know that I always land right where I'm supposed to be. It's just hard to do when all I want is for everything to happen like a movie montage where it goes by and the rewards are there to be had. I don't fear the Labor, never have, but at times it just seems hard to get myself fully motivated. I can't decide if it is the time of year or that I just never really took the time to fully recover from my last breakdown.  
It wasn't a breakdown in the 'nervous breakdown' sense, but I died and became an empty shell none the less. Slowly coming back into myself has been a longer journey then I had hoped it would be. Hopefully this time next year I will be not only in a different place, but in a better state of mind. I know that I'm already better from where I was this time last year. Leaps and bounds better, but still no where near where I would prefer to be.  I suppose life is nothing but a full work in progress :) . Progress is something I have done, just not instantly, and hopefully it will all work well in the end.  
I will try to post regularly now. Even if nothing of major note happens. I've neglected the updates for to long, and if I log them more regularly. Perhaps I can tamper some of the frustration and do better with gratitude.

A person that I follow because he has been a good source for inspiration over the years tweeted a quote that jarred me.

"You must travel often to the house of friends.....for weeds grow quickly upon unused paths"--Anon

Yeah, as of oh, say about 2005 completely, but actually most of my life. I've had a bad habit of letting a good deal of time go in between seeing friends.  I'm not sure why I let life drain me to where all I want to do is try and rest at home, It never works.  What I need to do is just start going out and doing things, and invite friends along. Lately I keep letting the fact that I have little to no money make me stay at home where I just get more frustrated.  I haven't had the greatest models when it comes to money, and when I do have it, it burns a hole in my pocket like no tomorrow. I've been working on trying to remedy the issue but it hasn't worked out the best right now. I have so many friends that I haven't talked to for way to long, but This quote is right!  I need to go and see which paths can be weeded and which ones can't.

So I should just start with my new plan and find things to do that are not very much or nothing at all. I have a bike that I haven't used in 3 yrs. Some skates that I haven't taken to the rink in a little over a year, and lots of places that I can go and hike.  I have been working on two of many things that I need to work on in order to get where I belong, but that hasn't been enough.  In fact, I'm now realizing that some of the issues I've been having with one is the result of only focusing on two things. I really need to just do the other things I keep putting off, but for some reason can not find the motivation.

In order to be prepped to go into the little house that I want to live in I will need to go through my stuff and par it down to what can fit into the 130SF. I have boxes in the corner of My room that I haven't looked at since I put them there 6yrs ago.  That's bad, really bad. I think that a major part of it is that I have so much stuff and no where to put it to go through it. I will always start then have it all thrown back into my room by the others wanting to clean the house.  Which does clean the house back to it's original clutter, but still doesn't help me.  I have 10 more days of school left. I think that then I will start to go through the room after I get a bit of things in order. A hair cut, manicure, and some new makeup are in order so that I can be ready for Interviews. I will be studying for the CPC Exam. Going to try and register for the Dec. 3rd test in the next couple of weeks. 

I still have to sign up for the AAPC as well.

Well I moved a bit away from the quote, but I think that it all ties in.
Please wish me lots of luck.

Mal.