Well as you know I have been going through a lot of frustration, bad moods, and realizations. I'm still on that slow path to getting a new career and a job that I will like, but still took some time out to decide what my next goals will be. My cuosin Micheal made fun of me for saying that I will have these things done in the next 6 years, but hey building a house will take some time. I'm not going to build a standard house Oh No!! I found a house that is calling to me and my small Gypsy side it's called the Fencl, and I plan to follow many others who have built and modified it by hand. I do plan some modifications to the roof for more storage space and probably a couple of other things. I will save money from my first three checks to buy the plans at the beginning of next year. Then start looking at what else I will need to get started. This type of thing has intrigued me since my uncle moved to Oregon in 2000. He and my aunt were there for about 10 years. After a few months in an apartment they decided for some random reason to buy a large travel trailer and lived in it while they were up there. My aunt said she was worried at first but after a bit she really liked it. Especially when they decided to drive somewhere because they just took everything with them, not having to worry about who will watch it. This has always appealed to me, but I wasn't sure that I wanted a Fifth Wheel. after looking and muling it over for about 5 months I decided that this would be good. With the Fencl it can be self sufficient, and I wouldn't have to worry if I bought land with utilities or not. The prospect of Simplifying down and having a small cleaning space is a real plus. Also with building it I wont have to take out a major loan to have it. Just get it as I allocate the proper money. This decision has me very excited. The prospect of Simplifying down and having a small cleaning space is a real plus.
Now the debate is to decide if I really truly want a scooter or not. I've always wanted a bike, but haven't learned how to ride or fully gotten one due to fear. If I get a scooter I can learn on the road, and have a bit more gas efficiency. Not to mention that when I finish the house it can go right in the living room while I drive somewhere or overnight. I'm looking at the Vespa , and the Stella. This isn't the first time I've looked at scooters either. It seems to be a favorite past time every time Gas is over $3.25 a gallon. I've realized that there is a lot that I do, but there is also quite a bit more that I stare at longingly because of fear. Whether it's my own or my family's. It's time to just let that fear go, really it is. I'm really excited about these and hopefully soon I'll have the full decision of the scooter too.
So what do ya guys think?
Mal.
Well, This is it. I've hit the home stretch and man is it going to be one hell of a run. Yesterday was day 2 of the first anatomy class. At this point in time the Two I can pull off the top of my head are Aden/o is gland, and Hematoma means a mass of blood. there are lots of others but I would need a paper in front of me.
Today we should be headed for the digestive systems. I still need to glue my flash cards together. The new teacher seems pretty good. We are all still adjusting to each other and happy to have her after the Computer Literacy fiasco.
I know that this is short and sweet, but I thought I would just do a small update since I haven't written for a bit. I'm still waiting for the dresses I bought to come from the UK. So I have no pictures to show just yet. promise to post them on my pages when they get here.
until than everyone stay safe.
Today we should be headed for the digestive systems. I still need to glue my flash cards together. The new teacher seems pretty good. We are all still adjusting to each other and happy to have her after the Computer Literacy fiasco.
I know that this is short and sweet, but I thought I would just do a small update since I haven't written for a bit. I'm still waiting for the dresses I bought to come from the UK. So I have no pictures to show just yet. promise to post them on my pages when they get here.
until than everyone stay safe.
Mal.
This may just be a repeat. Well Summer time is now just around the bend. Although with the cold and wind we had move in you wouldn't know it. I'm excited for the summer to come I got the OK and have set up to go to the Ball and can't wait to go. I'm a bit scared to be going by myself for the first time, but really do not want to miss it. Three days is not how long I like to be there but it will work all the same. I just set up for a Compact car instead of using Public transportation. That will be nice because I can hit the couple of stores I would have missed otherwise.
I have my costumes all set except for the mask and will need to find a good lace for that. I'm a bit sad that it is the only trip that I will be taking this year, but look forward to the future I'm building towards. Which will include other and further trips.
I get frustrated at times because I get caught up in instant gratification and feel that things are not progressing fast enough. I have forgotten how it is to have patience, another thing to work on while I'm in school. When we were young it seemed that one had all the time in the world in which to do anything. Now as adults we constantly look at our clocks and grumble about not enough hours in the day. Jealousy has had a part in it too. Several of my friends have gone or will be going to the far east. A place I have wanted to go to since High School, and I'm determined to make it there.
well I guess this will be my short jolt of info. It's all probably nothig that I have said before, but for right now it's my update. I should have more soon .
I have my costumes all set except for the mask and will need to find a good lace for that. I'm a bit sad that it is the only trip that I will be taking this year, but look forward to the future I'm building towards. Which will include other and further trips.
I get frustrated at times because I get caught up in instant gratification and feel that things are not progressing fast enough. I have forgotten how it is to have patience, another thing to work on while I'm in school. When we were young it seemed that one had all the time in the world in which to do anything. Now as adults we constantly look at our clocks and grumble about not enough hours in the day. Jealousy has had a part in it too. Several of my friends have gone or will be going to the far east. A place I have wanted to go to since High School, and I'm determined to make it there.
well I guess this will be my short jolt of info. It's all probably nothig that I have said before, but for right now it's my update. I should have more soon .
Mal.
Last time I wrote it was while I had all these crazy thoughts and realizations running through my head at way too fast a rate. Since then I have worked to slow everything down not only around me but in my head as well. It bothers me a bit that it took that visit for me to realize that I was still hanging on to a great deal of the Negativity and Issues I had from my old job. I had thought that I had left them at the door the night I walked out for the last time, and that everything I was going through were just another set of crazy problems from the universe.
In a way I think it was that the world is trying to break me of the Habits that I picked up from that place. I realized that I still worry about things that I shouldn't and make a Mountain out of a Molehill. The universe has shone me this by taking the issue I've been worring about and adding a whole new twist to it. Seriously there have been three things that the issue shouldn't have mattered, but it did and then the twist came and blew me around the loop several times. As a result I have learned that I need to readjust my radar for worry. I really only have three places that are my major world right now. School, Gym and Home. School and Gym are good places, both are helping my to build a better future.(Sadly not through instant gratification, but hey if it's not going to crumble it needs a good foundation right?) home is an interesting front though, I know that my parents probably don't mean to make me feel the way they do. They just want to help or push or whatever else. Unfortunatly, most of the time it just causes to much friction and frustration.
However now that I have slowed down, instead of trying to keep my head above the water, I hope to truely fix myself right up.
So no more focusing of the SHOULD, COULD, WOULD, CAN'T, or any other depresive states of mind. NO, no more.
In a way I think it was that the world is trying to break me of the Habits that I picked up from that place. I realized that I still worry about things that I shouldn't and make a Mountain out of a Molehill. The universe has shone me this by taking the issue I've been worring about and adding a whole new twist to it. Seriously there have been three things that the issue shouldn't have mattered, but it did and then the twist came and blew me around the loop several times. As a result I have learned that I need to readjust my radar for worry. I really only have three places that are my major world right now. School, Gym and Home. School and Gym are good places, both are helping my to build a better future.(Sadly not through instant gratification, but hey if it's not going to crumble it needs a good foundation right?) home is an interesting front though, I know that my parents probably don't mean to make me feel the way they do. They just want to help or push or whatever else. Unfortunatly, most of the time it just causes to much friction and frustration.
However now that I have slowed down, instead of trying to keep my head above the water, I hope to truely fix myself right up.
So no more focusing of the SHOULD, COULD, WOULD, CAN'T, or any other depresive states of mind. NO, no more.
Mal.
I've decided to write this to put some crazy thoughts running through my head a voice. On Friday I went to see a friend that I used to work with at the job I quit 10 minths ago. The time both made me feel good and bad. Good becasue I got to see a friend I had not seen since last Fall, and bad becasue of what I heard and saw. My friend doesn't look like the person I saw last. She is tired and hurting; many of the things that she told me that are going on at my old job are old hat. After all they are the same things I saw and went through for 4 years, but the bad thing is that the main majority of it is not good, and after a while it begins to affect your happiness and health. My friend is a strong person and I respect her very much, so it makes me sad to see her in the spot I was in when I decided it was time to quit.
It boggles my mind how an area can go through so many people, and not see why their issues are always the same. I'm not sure what the reasons are that are used to explain a high turn over for a job that is in itself quite easy. It's the Drama and negative energy that is cultivated every day that makes the job the worst job I've ever had. EVER. I considered myself a strong person. I even spent 4 years at the job. Two of the years telling myself that if I just held out a bit longer things had to get better. Of course they never did, in fact I got targeted and it was one year ago that I decided it was time to get out, do to the way a meeting made me feel. Today one year later the treatment I recived still bothers me. I'm not as confident or trusting as I was before this job. The negativity and criticisim broke me.
I've been trying to rebuild myself. Including by going back to school and startign a career in the medical industry. So that I can have the things I needed from the bad job, but never got no matter how much I voiced the need for it. I'm putting some of the energy I have left into hoping my friend comes out on top and doing fine. That when she leaves or when any of the others there finally leave they can bounce back faster than me. After all I'm still working on bouncing back.
It boggles my mind how an area can go through so many people, and not see why their issues are always the same. I'm not sure what the reasons are that are used to explain a high turn over for a job that is in itself quite easy. It's the Drama and negative energy that is cultivated every day that makes the job the worst job I've ever had. EVER. I considered myself a strong person. I even spent 4 years at the job. Two of the years telling myself that if I just held out a bit longer things had to get better. Of course they never did, in fact I got targeted and it was one year ago that I decided it was time to get out, do to the way a meeting made me feel. Today one year later the treatment I recived still bothers me. I'm not as confident or trusting as I was before this job. The negativity and criticisim broke me.
I've been trying to rebuild myself. Including by going back to school and startign a career in the medical industry. So that I can have the things I needed from the bad job, but never got no matter how much I voiced the need for it. I'm putting some of the energy I have left into hoping my friend comes out on top and doing fine. That when she leaves or when any of the others there finally leave they can bounce back faster than me. After all I'm still working on bouncing back.
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