Allways just 2 b me!!!!!

Harder than I thought it would be, but Working

Mal.

So I've been working very hard on my promise of no more comparison. It's much harder than I thought, but the times I'm successful at it yield awesome results. I never fully realized how much restriction one puts on themselves with that pesky thing. Of course, until the past 4 yrs I wouldn't really deal with comparison for long anyway. At the end of my last job I had it crammed in my face so much that I just picked it up. Now however I hope that it wont take to long to get it out of my system. I'm much happier and get things done faster with out it.

I also hope that once I get rid of that ugly habit of comparison everything else will be easier. After all if I'm not judging myself then I can just keep moving forward right?

I saws this pic of one of my heroes Sir Richard Bronson posted on Facebook by purpose Fairy.

So in keeping with the spirit of not comparing myself to others I've decided to use this as a guide to getting back to being myself.

No matter if it's this person.

,This person.

, Or even this person.

Just kidding the last blonde one is an entirely different Malibu. One I love quite a bit and wish would come for a visit, but you get what I mean right? On to being ME!!!

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A Conversation with Death.

Mal.

Over the past 3 in a half weeks I've been fielding many other issues and things in my mind and surroundings. Isn't it interesting how you can look tiered and sad on the outside but an entire war and much more can be going on in your head?

Over the past three weeks my family has been replacing the roof on the house. My dad, 3 of my uncles, and my grandpa have been re decking and putting metal on the roof. Two weeks of no time at all to myself and no real rest the way that I can only recharge. So then last friday was the first day that I got to have a good relaxation.

After setting it all up and getting relaxed I fell asleep in my hot water and had a long conversation in my dream. To my surprise mostly because I decided to forget some of what I learned when finding a faith that is more me. Most people who know me may just know that I'm no longer christian. I'm not one for organized religion. So even though I have gone pagan I choose to not join a coven or any groups. I instead am eclectic picking up the things that resonate and learning many things along the way. One of those things was the different jobs of death in the world. The main one everyone knows is that he comes and takes you to the next plain(where or what ever that may be). Another one is that one he attempted with me in mid 2010. Which is to end a section of your life that is not working out for you or that you are stagnant in. Death does this so that you can continue to grow and change as one is supposed to.

I'm to stubborn for my own good at times. As you know in mid 2010 I left a bad environment much later than I should have. This conversation helped me realize that my biggest problem that I haven't been able to pinpoint is that I really haven't left that point as well as I thought I had. I have been keeping way to much baggage from that experience and it has been tainting what I'm doing now. I have been moving forward, but with to much fear and negativity that was given to me because I've been to afraid to let it go.

During the conversation I realized that I'm a person that I have never wanted to be. I promised to let all the baggage go and to start with the ugliest thing I picked up. Comparison. I wasn't really one to fully compare myself with others because I always just wanted to do my best. In fact I used to just plain avoid or ignore the situations or people who would put comparison in my path. Lately though judging myself unworthy due to comparison is all I seem to be able to do. So now I'm going to do my best to drop that one. I'm hoping that if I do then all the rest will fall without notice.